A Woman’s Place
I’d like to start this blog post by giving a big thumbs up to Mother Nature. Thanks to the torrential rain unleashed on New York this week, the US Open hasn’t had to hide behind any politically correct bullshit to give us all the schedule we really want.
We are now lucky enough to be guaranteed a men’s final where both players are fully fit and rested. Sure, it’s a bad result for the women, whose turnaround time between semis and finals is now much shorter, but as long as the men are accommodated, I think we should all let it slide. We all know the men play proper, exciting tennis, and the women are merely good-looking time fillers. The women’s final won’t even feature that blonde Russian hottie or that giggly Serbian cutie anyway, so I don’t see the importance in giving them any decent time to recover from their semi-finals.
Speaking of semi-finals, what a relief we don’t have to put up with TWO women’s matches on Arthur Ashe. I’ve never been more proud to be a tennis fan than when I saw three men’s matches and one women’s match scheduled for Arthur Ashe. Good on them for shunting the mainly irrelevant match between that Australian and some Dutch chick out to some other court. The best part is we can just pretend it doesn’t exist: it won’t even be on American TV! Oh and don’t worry if you think anyone actually gives a shit about that match; one prominent (male) journalist has assured us that only three people in the States would bother to watch it anyway.
The same kind of brilliance was applied for the quarter-finals: only one women’s match on Arthur Ashe and all four men’s. Fantastic! What a great display of not letting a petty thing like equality and fairness get in the way of a good tennis tournament. Never mind that there is plenty of time to put all the semi-final matches on Ashe. If the US Open didn’t take this kind of opportunity to show us what they really thought of women’s tennis, well, when would we ever find out? We’d be left in the dark worrying that the equal pay stuff actually meant something deeper than just a bit more money. So girls, since you won’t be watching many strong, empowered females play tennis over the next few days so you might as well get onto that ironing.